Rob Holub: How Building Connections Make You a Better Leader

Today’s C-levels and senior leadership not only need to have business acumen and technical prowess but also strong networking skills to build connections both inside and outside the organization. In this exclusive interview, media and communications expert and accomplished public speaker Rob Holub shares observations and insights from his extensive career working with business leaders from large companies on the challenges of building connections, the importance of self-reflection, and steps to create meaningful relationships.  

We know you’re passionate about human connection and that it’s a focal point in your keynote speeches. What are the key things business leaders should think about before building connections with others?

Connection is a very broad word and field to talk about. The important questions to ask are: Why do you need to connect and with whom? What kind of connections are you looking for as a business leader? Are you looking for a deeper connection? And if so, then why? Is it the superficial connections you’re looking for? Is it trustworthy, meaningful, or authentic connections? 

Generally, business leaders who prioritize connections set a positive tone for corporate culture and promote values like collaboration and empathy. In essence, connections for business leaders are the backbone of effective leadership and contribute to a positive work environment, foster innovation, and build a strong basis for success as well. Of course, that’s the goal of any business leader, to build a resilient organization that can foster long-term success.   

Based on your experience working with business leaders, what are their top challenges in building connections with their employees and peers?

I’m self-employed but I’ve worked for big corporations as well and have come across business leaders on different levels.  

One thing I would say is that business leaders with big responsibilities have time constraints. They often have packed schedules. It’s difficult to make time for networking and building relationships actively. Time constraints are a big challenge more than ever before in today’s digital world and overwhelming workloads. So, can you make the time to build connections? Because building connections, especially trustworthy ones, takes time and effort. I think a lot of business leaders don’t have that time or prioritize other matters.  

Authenticity is also a big challenge. From my personal experience working with business leaders, sometimes they were not accessible. As a colleague or employee, I was questioning why that is. To give access as a business leader and have access as an employee or colleague to the business leader is also very important. That can also be a challenge because you think at a certain point on the corporate ladder you don’t necessarily allow that access. But I think in today’s world where hierarchies are questioned and flattened out more, that access should be given in both ways. That connection allows a business leader to be more authentic because they don’t have to pretend to be somebody different just because they meet different people in different contexts.  

And maybe there’s a fear of rejection as well. When you are afraid to get rejected or not be well-received, that can hinder business leaders from actively seeking new connections because they have a certain identity as a business leader, and maybe want to portray or protect their identity in that way.  

The last challenge is digital overload in today’s world. Social media can help you connect and build connections. On the other hand, it can hinder you from connecting again in a more quality way with people as you are just reaching out to the whole world constantly. You’re overloaded and overwhelmed with digital content. I think there’s a risk there to distract yourself as well, and not build connections that are fruitful for your company.  

In a nutshell, I think every business leader should be mindful of their time and energy. In the end, try to leverage your existing network for introductions and referrals as well. Also, practice being present for your colleagues and co-business leaders. This is to ensure meaningful connections, not just quick and superficial ones. That takes presence, time, and energy. 

Does being present become more difficult the higher you are on the corporate ladder?

If you’re working for a big company with 1,000+ employees, even if each of these employees wants to connect with the CEO, it’s impossible for the CEO to connect with all 1,000+ employees. The question will be, again, which connections are important to build or to maintain? I agree that because of the responsibility and working a lot on strategic decision-making levels, it will be a question of how much time you have available to do so. So yes, working higher on the corporate ladder will probably be more difficult for you to allow yourself to invest enough time to do so, that could be true for any employee who struggles to find enough time to finish their jobs each day.  

There are also the expectations of authority. Business leaders are expected to exude authority and confidence. This expectation can create a barrier and make it challenging to approach informal conversations with other people and build networks. If you think that’s true, it limits your sense of self. So, a bit of self-reflection and cracking down on some limiting beliefs will help each individual business leader open up. That’s another experience I’ve had many times in my life, in my 20+ years of experience in the professional world where I think I could not access the business leader. So, because they thought they were an authority, they were not allowed to be available.  

One other aspect is isolation. I think that comes with that authority. For example, maybe they have their own office, and they don’t like to keep their doors open, they isolate themselves. That can also hinder the process of building connections. But that is influenced by the whole organizational culture and work ethic.  

Leadership can create a competitive environment; it’s challenging for business leaders to receive feedback. Maybe people working with them or for them don’t necessarily give enough feedback. Employees need feedback from business leaders and vice versa. So, it’s a question of balancing. The business leader is not a business leader without their employees. It always takes both sides, and both can contribute. I would also say never separate those two entities. Always look at them as a connected field of energy. 

Does joining a business network like Aurora Live alleviate those challenges?

100%! If you ask me what the tools are for building new connections for business leaders, one of the first things I would say is attending networking events and actively participating in industry events, conferences, and seminars. On the other hand, it’s a good opportunity to meet new people and expand your professional network, as well as share your struggles and challenges with other business leaders. However, do not overdo it because that itself can be a risk to lose yourself and get networking fatigue. 

When building connections, why is self-reflection an important skill for business leaders to have?

It goes back to human nature that we probably tend to blame the outside world for the things that are happening around us or to us. That can be the same for a business. So, the topic of self-reflection or introspection is valuable in any field of life, personal or professional. In addition, business leaders need to take responsibility and accountability for their actions. And to take responsibility means to stand up for yourself in good and bad times. I don’t want to generalize, but I think in certain corporate environments, business leaders don’t necessarily take accountability for their mistakes. It takes courage, authenticity, and self-reflection because maybe they think that it’s not their fault. And that’s your job, you need to take that responsibility because your employees can’t.  

When you do that, you become vulnerable. But through your vulnerability, people will see that you have done some self-reflection. It’s not so much about the business leader as a person but that they’re representing a certain vision and values of their organization. Employees need that and if you don’t have that, then it becomes difficult, and it can fall apart. So, that process of self-reflection is very necessary. It makes you more approachable, human, and credible because nobody’s perfect.  

I think just as much as employees want to get appreciation; you need to show it. So, express that gratitude with a simple Thank You note or email, and be a good listener. Listen to your employees, it’s not just up to them to listen to the business leader. So, you need to live up to these human qualities of communication that are effective for your success in your organization.  

Can you share a few practical ways to practice self-reflection, especially if you are a busy business leader?

It starts with being mindful, meaning that you observe yourself. You don’t need to take half an hour to do that, it has a lot to do with awareness. Observe yourself as a business leader. How do you communicate with people when you get certain feedback? If you get rejections, don’t blame the other person but ask yourself whether you have communicated appropriately. That’s already a part of self-reflection.  

When I say self-reflection and becoming mindful, I’m not talking about meditation. A good way to start the day with gratitude is a ritual where you thank your employees for contributing to the success of your company. Maybe 10 years ago, people would have said, “This is spiritual crap.” Nowadays, I think people have gained more access to these tools because they are burning out. Employees and business leaders are burning out not because they work too many hours a day. It’s because they’re not getting appreciation, and they are not giving themselves appreciation. They think they need to perform better and that they’re not good enough.  

Self-reflection has a lot to do with self-love. Don’t crucify yourself for certain things. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Again, it starts with exercises of awareness because we always have certain patterns that we repeat in relationships, both personal and business. And we keep asking ourselves why these things are repeating. If you don’t self-reflect and ask yourself why, you will constantly attract the same problems in life. It takes a lot of effort but it’s very rewarding, because once you start to do that and grow, your environment starts to grow the people around you, and you start to change by looking at things from different perspectives.  

It’s also important to keep a certain lightness in your life. We were all children at one point and then we lost the child within us. So maybe remind yourself that you’ve been this child, full of curiosity and loving everything around you, and to bring back that child in you rather than be a tough businessperson who must be perfect. I think that will help you to be more human and accessible to whoever you work with. Be an empathetic leader. I think there are old schools of business leadership thinking that now are getting questioned or washed away with some new schools with self-reflection and self-awareness.  

*The interview answers have been edited for length and clarity.